I keep forgetting that Mike Myers is not actually playing an Indian in The Love Guru, and yet I’m constantly reminded by the film’s commercials, which show that ridiculous shot of a little kid’s body with Myers’ giant head digitally superimposed onto it. Really, Myers’ character (Pitka) is a white American who is left on the doorstep of an Indian ashram when he’s a child. Then he’s raised as Indian, I guess (or simply Hindu, but then why the accent?).

Apparently the character, Pitka, couldn’t simply look and talk like Myers. He had to have that silly accent and the clothes and the facial hair, despite the fact that Deepak Chopra, who partially inspired the character (and who appears in the movie), is able to wear jeans and be clean-shaven. Because who would believe Myers as an Indian guru with just the voice, the clothes and his baby face?

Of course, Myers is not the first actor to wear or grow a beard and/or mustache in order to take on the guise of another ethnicity. Sure, it’s also the accent and the makeup that transforms the actor, but with the most recognizable faces, it’s the facial hair that really seals the deal for supposed authenticity.

1. Charlton Heston as Mexican in Touch of Evil (pictured above) - Maybe if Heston could maintain the accent he wouldn’t have needed the mustache. But then in photos he still would have just looked like regular old Heston. With the whiskers, however, he looks like regular old Heston with a mustache. If this look defined a man as Mexican, then many characters from the ’30s must have been Mexican. Rhett Butler? Mexican. Nick Charles (and anyone else played by William Powell)? Mexican.
   

   

2. John Wayne as Mongolian in The Conqueror - I don’t think Wayne even tried with the accent, and it doesn’t appear like any makeup was applied to his face. But thanks to that catfish stash he’s totally convincing as Mongolian emperor Genghis Khan. Too bad Susan Hayward couldn’t wear facial hair to make her look more like a Tartar queen. Actually, it might have helped.

   

3. Peter Sellers as Chinese in Murder By Death - He certainly wasn’t the first white actor to play Charlie Chan. There was Warner Oland, Sidney Toler and Roland Winters, among others. But he’s probably the only one not primarily famous for playing the Chinese-American detective. Not that it would be acceptable for anyone to portray Chan without the iconic facial hair.

   

4. Edward G. Robinson as Reubenite in The Ten Commandments - Born a Romanian Jew, Robinson was more acceptably cast as an ancient Israelite than it would seem. Yet after playing so many Italians in so many gangster movies, he was going against type as the traitor Dathan. Did the character grow the beard to align him more with the Egyptians, though? If so, then this is a twofold instance of facial hair making the race.

   

5. Wallace Beery as Mexican in Viva Villa! -Long before Charlton Heston wore a mustache to pass as Mexican, Wallace Beery did the same. At least Beery was playing a real person, though, and had to wear a mustache. Still, would anyone have believed the star as any non-iconically-stashed Mexican?

   

6. Sacha Baron Cohen as a Kazakh in Borat - OK, so without the accent, Sacha Baron Cohen would just look like an early ’80s Freddie Mercury wannabe. But also, without that mustache, he’d merely look like Sacha Baron Cohen. Not that any of us knew what the actor really looked like prior to his publicity tour for this movie, but that’s beside the point.

   

7. Eddie Murphy as white on Saturday Night Live - In the early ’80s, when many white men wanted to be Tom Selleck or Burt Reynolds, this kind of mustache was absolutely necessary for Murphy’s transformation.

   

8. Anthony Quinn as an Arab in Lawrence of Arabia - The Mexican-American Quinn was great at playing against race. And he wasn’t the first or last to don a beard to play an Arab. But his portrayal was probably the most iconic representation of Arab for most of us who grew up in non-ethnically-diverse suburbs.

   

9. John Cleese as French in Monty Python and the Holy Grail - You may recognize that he’s French by the exaggerated accent (his lines as the taunter are popular audio samples), but Cleese just wouldn’t be convincing as French without the exaggerated mustache. I know this, because at Halloween time, I see items called “French mustache,” meaning it’s an essential part of the stereotype.

   

10. Meryl Streep as Jewish in Angels in America - You can’t play an Orthodox rabbi without the big frizzy beard, but when you’re Meryl Streep, regardless of how much of a chameleon you are, the beard is more than a must. It’s perhaps the only way of being passable as male and Jewish.